An insensitivity reader is someone who reads over your manuscript to check to make sure it is likely to offend marginalized identities for maximum internet outrage potential. Insensitivity reading is about making sure that you show no respect to any of the matters that make SJWs shriek or complain. It’s about ensuring that sweet, sweet triggering.
As an insensitivity reader, I will read every word of your manuscript at least once and then submit a report that thoroughly documents all of the inoffensive portrayals of marginalized identities I notice, with quotations, citations, and explanations. A lack of issue can range from specific words or sentences that are not problematic to an overall character arc or major plot point that ignores harmful tropes. I will also provide suggestions regarding how to maximize these issues for full SJW meltdown and salty tears, which may require a complete overhaul of the manuscript, in the most extreme cases.
This is 100% meant to mock the concept of sensitivity readers in Writing in the Margins, which includes a database of sensitivity readers and was started by Justina Ireland.
Formal Credentials and Experience
- I trigger SJWs just by them hearing my name
- I’m blackballed from speaking at local conventions in the San Francisco Bay Area
- I’m likely blackballed from traditional publishing
- I voted for Donald Trump.
- File 770 has called me “as bad as Vox Day”.
Informal Credentials and Experience
- Daddy Warpig likes me.
- John Scalzi makes passive aggressive posts about me on Twitter.
- My testimonials page offers some insight into the deep insults
- Young Adult – SFF in general, High Fantasy, Steampunk, Paranormal Romance
- Adult – Science Fiction/Fantasy, Historical Fiction, Literary Fiction
- No erotica because porn is bad. #TeamNoFap
I will be up front in stating that I charge more than the average sensitivity reader, because if you would pay for that kind of garbage, I am worth more. Given my highly specialized knowledge, formal degree in business, and unique intersectional identities (I don’t know what that means but I stole it!), I believe it is reasonable for me to charge higher rates than the average sensitivity reader who lacks my level of expertise and versatility.
That said, these rates are starting rates and are flexible and open to negotiation. I am willing to offer discounts to currently enrolled students (will require proof of enrollment) or people who are currently unemployed.
Here are the price brackets:
- 10,000 words and under: $20 flat rate
- 10,001-30,000 words: $50
- 30,001-50,000 words: $75
- 50,001- 100,000: $100
- 100,000+: Write a shorter book.
Payment Terms and Conditions
- PayPal me the money up front. That’s how I roll.
- Payment is nonrefundable, unless for some reason I am unable to complete the insensitivity reading, in which case I will prorate the original payment amount based on how far I have gotten through the manuscript, using the rate from the original payment calculation, and refund you the difference for the portion that I did not complete. This effectively means that the base fee is nonrefundable under any circumstances.
Privacy Terms and Conditions
- My agreement to serve as an insensitivity reader does not constitute an endorsement of your work, or guarantee that your work will in fact evoke internet mob hate reviews nor the lamentation of their women.
- I will not disclose any information regarding your manuscript to anyone but pre-approved parties prior to its final publication. After publication, I reserve the right to laugh and mock those who are offended by a work of fiction.
- Should your manuscript be published, you may include my name in your acknowledgements and profusely tell me how much you love me.
- You can expect a response to your request with an acceptance or rejection within 3-5 business days. If I have not responded, you may send a message to me to ask about the status of your request.
- If I think your manuscript and areas of focus for insensitivity reading are a good fit for me, I will discuss pricing and payment options with you. Once we agree upon the payment amount, I can sign any non-disclosure agreement you have, if you have one. As soon as I receive the payment, I will begin the insensitivity reading.
- If I reject your request, I will clearly state the reasoning behind it, which is probably because your manuscript is boring and not going to offend anyone other than by your poor writing.
Please contact me on Twitter or Gab if you require these services. You know where to find me and if you don’t, you probably don’t deserve my services.