Is xXx: The Return of Xander Cage The Greatest Film Of All Time?

I’m struggling to conceive of one that’s even remotely in its league. I sat in the theatre last night with a total of 5 people in there, and a friend and myself laughed our butts off the entire time (and got some angry stares for doing so from the other 3 people in the theatre). 

This movie was incredibly self-aware, stopping and giving names and stat-lines of characters, including something ridiculous about each one. It opened up with a faux-James Bond cut scene with satellites and bad CGI and an epic score and went into a Dr. Evil style board meeting that talked about a crazy device Pandora’s Box (lol on the name) that could end up destroying the world if falling into the wrong hands!

Then this:


This ridiculous over the top action scene basically speaks to the entire movie and what it is.  It keeps going with crazy stuff like this throughout the whole film, callbacks to prior films, and even has direct scenes where they parody other films such as the Matrix and Mr. and Mrs. Smith.  The Film and Vin Diesel don’t take themselves seriously at all, which is refreshing.

With Donnie Yen and Tony Jaa you would expect silly over the top martial arts action, and it delivers on that level as well. Every trope you would expect, this film tries to double it. Not one martial arts expert, two. Not one motorcycle fight scene, two. Not one hot chick with a gun, two. It’s such a great payoff, and it really doesn’t matter if you’ve seen the other films, though there are quite a few callbacks for humor (like the fur coat!).

The best part and I’ll leave it to your imagination is the Deus Ex Ice Cube. I can’t think of anything better than that and I want every movie to have that.

Box office wise, it doesn’t look like it did terrible, recouping its costs, but it didn’t do great either. It hinted, like the other movies have, that there will be another, but we’ll see if Vin has time in between the so necessary more Fast and the Furious movies again haha.

I am amused beyond belief.

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