#HimToo – Sexual Abuse Of Men Is Real, But No One Talks About It

Share this post

Bonnie Randall, a paranormal romance author, stops by to talk about male victims of sexual abuse in conjuction with her new book, Within The Summit’s Shadow. Sexual abuse of men is much harder to talk about societally because there’s no “cool trendy thing” around it if you’re a guy. Bonnie is a social worker in child protections, dealing with abuse and addiction on a regular basis. She knows how dark it is out there and has a unique view on the topic. Hopefully we can raise a little awareness and help her book. 

#HimToo

You didn’t really think it only happens to females, did you?

I won’t tell you the details and spoil my own novel, but I will say this: women haven’t cornered the market on #metoo . Men—boys—get victimized too, yet males are socialized to stay stoic and silent. Sometimes even encouraged to rewrite their own histories, to claim that they liked the experience.

As in: “C’mon. You secretly wanted it—didn’t you?”

Where have we heard that before?

That’s right. It isn’t just gals who get their backs slapped by some no-minds who want them to believe they actually wanted their body to be used like a play toy. Seems to me we, as human beings, have such an inner moratorium on sexual violence that we seem to like to file through our internal rolodex of reasons why rape can’t possibly be rape.

We’re cowards that way.

Sexual violation is an earthly version of Hell for its victims—all its victims—and not every man who’s been victimized turns out to be a studly alpha such as Christian Grey, the oversexed hero who still casts quite a wide-reaching (and profoundly perplexing) spell over a whole lot of women who otherwise call themselves ‘modern’ and ‘liberated’. <squints> My experience (not as a writer, but instead as a counselor for more than 25 years), tells me that most male vics don’t turn out to be d*ck-swinging romeos. On the contrary—most become sullen and scared and uncertain how to build normal relationships. They are confused and alone and self-medicate because it hurts: so booze, dope, work, gambling, and—ironically, perversely—sometimes sex become their solace. Then there are others, like my character, Andrew Gavin, who bury themselves in even more trauma by diving into first responder careers because misery and turbulence are states they are used to.

A detective who’s seen a lot of gore and has secrets he just cannot tell, Andrew isn’t just prickly on the outside. Internally, he carries a companion only he can see: The Dead Boy, a sewer-made mass of shadows, a delusion that taunts him and goads him to just pick up his sidearm. To feel all of it…and then none of it, anymore.

Andrew is my testimony to all the traumatic stories that have been my privilege (and heartache) to hear in all the years I’ve counseled people on the front line. It is the experience of all of these people who never chose to be broken—and who are both female and male—who not only inspired this novel, but also its dedication:

To anyone, anywhere, who has ever said “Don’t! Stop!”

#HimToo. It’s a thing.

Buy Bonnie’s new book here.

Share this post

The Final Countdown

Share this post

We are really close too the end of the Flying Sparks campaign!  Right now we’re sitting at a point where everyone’s getting so many indie comics from the community it’s such a great value.

But there’s more immediate stretch goals that are obtainable. This needs to be pushed over the top!

First up is back cover art by Gary Shipman. I’ll get that colored and add that in.

Next is a Meta-Girl: Origins story that’s 6 pages additional Flying Sparks content all backers will receive. Here’s a preview of the first page:

It’s a fun story that shows Meta-Girl’s early work with Professor Fitch. Readers asked me for the origin so I wanted to deliver!

You can back here. There is NO in-demand afterward on Kickstarter so make sure to come in and back now!

 

Share this post

Pro-Tip: Always Stay Hungry

Share this post

Last night one of the strangest things in sports happened that I’ve ever seen, but I’ve seen it many times before. I know you’re anti-sports here for the most part, but bear with me, because it’s relevant.

The Warriors, for those who don’t follow, are the most dominant team in basketball over the last 5 years. They have 4 all-stars on the court (of a team of 5) at any given moment. They’re the best of the best players in the league, and their arrogance shows more often than not.

Last night’s playoff game started like any other game they play. They went up by 31 points mid-third quarter. There was no way anyone could come back from such a deficit. It was easy rolling. All of the stars fired their best shots.  They were smirking, dragging their feet, resting up, because they didn’t ant to exert themselves any longer.

Then a crazy thing happened.

The end of the 3rd Quarter saw the Clippers make a 12-2 run against the Warriors. But they Ws had been resting Steph Curry the whole time. It was probably just the bench play, right?

The lead was cut to 20….

Then to 10…

Then to 2…

During the course of this, the stars of the Clippers, Green and Beverly, both fowled out. They were playing so hard, so physical that they couldn’t stay in. The Warriors meanwhile were really playing up the fouls, getting calls because they’re the champions. Draymond Green of the Warriors mocked Beverley for getting that last foul (which he barely touched Green) with a little wave and a “bye bye!”

It surely was over for the Clippers.

But their bench worked even harder. The Warriors, overconfident and lazy, just let them get past them. The Warriors finally went down, and couldn’t make up the difference.

It’s a huge lesson for all of us. No matter how well we’re doing, no matter what it looks like, we cannot get overconfident and rest on our laurels.

I’ve seen it happen soo many times in so many industries. There’s such a temptation to say “I won. It’s over” and stop fighting or producing. But life is even harder than sports. If you declare victory while the game’s still on, your loss is going to hurt a lot more than a few points. It could be your whole life, your whole livelihood.

Don’t get overly satisfied with what you’ve already done. Don’t get cocky. Don’t buy your own hype.

It’s the only way to keep winning. Otherwise there’s a lot of sharks out there ready to take you down and do it for themselves.

No matter where you’re at, there’s a lot of work to do. And on the other side — if you’re a “little young guy” like the Clippers appear to the Warriors, your lesson is you CAN do it. You can fight the big monster and win.

It’s all about perseverance and hard work.

My hard work is on display on Kickstarter right now! How many people keep telling me I’ll never cut it in the industry? I’ve got the monolith against me, and they started the game with a hundred point lead. But I’m going to fight and claw my way to victory with my every last breath. Flying Sparks 2 is my best comic work yet. Check it out. Only 3 days left! 

 

Share this post

$10K Achievement Unlocked!

Share this post

Last night was amazing!

I was out playing worship like I do most Thursday nights, practicing for the weekend with some of the best musicians in the Bay Area, and I come back home, open up my browser, click my campaign… boom! We got there!

This $10K number is one I wanted to unlock for a few reasons on Flying Sparks 2.

One, there’s just a nice perception to five-figures that this feels like a real success. I know that’s perhaps an odd thing to look at, but it definitely gives me a sense of relief on that end.

Second, for readers, this makes the campaign probably the most value-town of any campaign I’ve seen out there.

If you haven’t seen the stretch goal yet, the $10K number means there’s a ton of #1 Issue comics from awesome indie creators that you’ll get in addition to the Flying Sparks book now.

  • Alt-Hero #1
  • Chuck Dixon’s Avalon #1
  • Something Real #1
  • Juanpool #1
  • Sporkman: Conventions #1
  • Punchline #1
  • Nyobi #1
  • The Ember War #1
  • And my upcoming book, the first chapter next crowdfund we’ll be doing, Dynamite Thor #1. You’ll get the first look at this!
  • Plus if you missed the first campaign, an 8-Page Flying Sparks prequel, “Hannah’s Story”

This is a TON of comics. I probably should have split these up into two stretch goals cuz now at any backing level, readers just get a ridiculous amount of awesome books.

But we made it. Now every backer is going to really be in on a whole movement. This is exciting stuff! I can’t wait to get Flying Sparks into your hands.

If you haven’t backed yet, the campaign only has 7 days left. Get in now! 

 

 

 

Share this post

Being Content In God

Share this post

It’s been awhile since we did some soul searching on here, and it definitely was never the plan to get away from that.

I did some reflecting this morning on contentment. In our current society, we are probably the worst culture in history about this. Our whole model and focus is consume consume consume, new new new, more more more.

It often leads us on a destructive path where this world is our master. I don’t think anyone in America is immune to this.

That drives us to anxiety. The endless comparisons to what others have drive us to depression. Consumerism is the ultimate nihilism.  It’s separation from God. Hell on Earth.

Christ warns us In Matthew 6:

32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 
33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.
We have to readjust our focus and priorities all the time. It takes conscious thought, and conscious prayer.
All the worldly gains are temporary. They don’t matter. A new collectible will not make you happy past the moment you buy it. A new car will stop being exciting when the scent fades. Only one thing can keep us going and keep us in a perfect state of contentment. There’s a secret to it, but it’s an open one. Paul tells us:
Philippians 4:
12 I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 
13 I can do all this through him who gives me strength.
It’s pretty simple. Not some things, ALL things. We just have to solidify our faith even further.
I definitely feel too weird to sell stuff at the end of this post like I usually do, so I won’t post a link today. Hopefully this helps someone as it has me!
Share this post

The Nebula Conference Panels Are Listed And It’s Hilarious

Share this post

SFWA posted its schedule for the Nebula Conference, and one definitely expects a program mired with social justice causes of the week, but to the extent that it’s gone for a group that’s supposed to be a professional writers’ group that’s assisting their professional authors… it looks a lot crazier than even most local conventions in the San Francisco Bay Area that are focused on SJW fans and SJW fledgling writers.

We’ll be going over it today on The Lunch Stream. Subscribe so you don’t miss it. I’d definitely say the panel highlight is “Managing a career through Mental Illness” something that is at least very useful for all of SFWA’s leadership from my experiences with them.

What shocks me though is the lack of ANY focus on real business, or anything that an actual professional writer could use. There’s a lot geared toward amateurs as if this were some convention of people who still need to learn how to write. Lots of coaching, topical how to write… if you don’t know how to write, how are you in SFWA to begin with (you don’t need to answer this 😉 )?

But then, since SFWA shuns actual professionals like me who make money at this writer thing, it makes sense they need their conference to not actually enrich the careers of professionals who are making it. After all, we wouldn’t want those types in a professional guild.

The org has pushed itself into an even more worthless category with this event. I’m going to do my best to try to go (assuming they don’t pre-ban me for my existence in an attempt to harass your favorite Hispanic writer). Definitely most interested in the “What SFWA Can Do For You” panel… from the looks oof the convention, it looks like the answer is “take your money”.

I guess the answer is the 20BooksTo50K conference that actually seems to care about building writers’ careers. It’s got useful programming on how to market, what the markets look like, and more. 20Books doesn’t waste your time like SFWA. They’re not here to sit around and braid each others’ gender-spectrum’d hair, they’re here to make money at writing.

I’d say this should be a wake up call for future SFWA leadership, but we all know what’s coming.

Back my latest crowdfund. Going to need to cover my trip down to the Nebulas for the sake of journalism, and this is the best spot to kick in.

Share this post

The Ultimate Flying Sparks Offer

Share this post
Upate: Bustin’ $10K Special
 
We really want to hit the 10K goal cuz here people are going to get an additional free 200+ pages of comics from great creators like Chuck Dixon and a lot of others in the community.
 
To help facilitate this, because this one goal would almost completely get us there, we’ve lowered the cover art price for Gary Shipman’s amazing work to $500. Most of this money goes to Gary and it also comes with a copy of the book. This is huge value because cover art at a calibre of Gary’s is worth way more than this on the open market.
 
The original black and white drawing, there is only one. It will look great on a wall.
 
Get it before someone else does!
 
Share this post

What’s It Take…

Share this post

…to run a crowdfund?

I answer the questions on the Business of Writing podcast with Joe Solari. He’s a great guy, worth subscribing to if you’re interested in marketing.

As you’ve no doubt seen I’ve been putting in a lot of time making the rounds lately. It’s for Flying Sparks and we’re getting down to 10 days left to back. It doesn’t charge til the end so don’t wait for the last minute. This is going to be the best comic of 2019. 

Share this post

Amazon Is Getting More Evil

Share this post

It was only a matter of time before the platform went for full censorship. Roosh was the warning shot across the world last year when they took his book down. Because of who he was, no one listened.

Maybe someone will with Tommy Robinson?

Under pressure from left-wing journalists and activists, Amazon is purging right-wing authors from its store, including a book co-authored by English Islam critic and independent commentator Tommy Robinson.

The web retail giant has become the dominant market player in book sales, accounting for nearly 50 percent of physical and 83 percent of e-book sales in the U.S. As such, Amazon has the power to effectively cut an author off from the vast majority of the books market.

Amazon began its new round of purges by targeting the white nationalist fringe. In February, the tech giant banned a number of books from white identitarian Jared Taylor, and a book called The White Nationalist Manifesto by Greg Johnson.

Of course I can see the cucks crying, “it won’t happen to meeeee. Those are just extreeeemists.”

Until it does. They always creep in incrementalism when they come to censorship. We’ve seen it done on so many other big tech platforms, why do you expect Amazon, a huge monopoly controlled by Jeff Bezos, would do differently?

We’ll see if they allow Milo Yiannopoulos’ new book, How To Be Poor, up.

Make sure to back my projects because it’s probably a matter of time before I’m banned from platforms where I can sell my books. Need to reach the critical mass of support now to survive when it happens. Besides, Flying Sparks is called “the best indie comic of 2018” by readers. Volume 2 is even better! Back today.

Share this post

Handling SJW Attacks

Share this post

Since my blog on DC McAllister, a lot of people have asked me for pre-emptive advice on how to handle SJW attacks and getting mobbed online. First off, I have to recommend the book SJWs Always Lie which has a full manual on how to do this, but there’s also my own experiences.

First off is the most important part:

Change Your Mindset

When you get under these kind of mob attacks, often it begins with what appears to be friendly warnings from employers, friends, colleagues, etc. but you can tell there’s something else underneath. You’re being judged, and more than just about a concern for a simple action. These people are giving you clear warnings that you’re out of line, you’re no longer part of the club.

It starts fairly early. You say one thing that is from a freethinking perspective, different than the norm, and the whole group is talking about you behind your back. You can’t put a finger on it, often times they’ll just start treating you differently, ignoring you, no longer inviting you into crucial tasks. Sometimes they’ll explicitly tell you you’re out. Most of the times, they act in cowardice in the form of the group together.

Our first instincts in these situations are to panic. “I don’t want to lose my tribe! I need to fit in. I need the approval.”

It’s tough. Losing friends, jobs, family members is painful. It’s wrong that folk would do this to you over disagreements on anything. It’s disloyal. It flies in the face of everything you know is good and true. That’s all correct. However, these aren’t rational beings, this is a mob.

Your mindset needs to change. Acceptance doesn’t matter, and moreover, you can’t obtain it. The condition for the acceptance is to 100% change your convictions, who you are, and you can’t just give it lip service. They will know. You would have to be a brainwashed drone that says and does all the right things. It won’t happen and you and they both know it.

What you need to accept is that you won’t be accepted.

You’re going to be alone. No one, even the best of friends are going to come to your defense. They are either in agreement with the mob, or they’re so afraid of the mob they will keep their mouths shut for their own safety. Appealing to these folk will only get you frustrated, and only cause a bigger open fight with the former friends you thought you could rely on.

It’s okay to be alone. Your principles make you who you are. Accept yourself, that there’s nothing wrong with what you’re saying, and accept that through whatever occurred, you’re going to have to go at it with not much help.

There’s support out there, of course. I found wonderful people when I came under attack, but keep in mind the support you find will come from people who have their own lives. They’ll care, but only to some extent. You can’t call these people and yap for hours like you did with your former mob friends. It will feel distant.

But realize you’re now a revolutionary. Your words have power, and that power drives the NPC mobs completely crazy. It’s because what you speak is truth, and that’s what’s important. Remember, even the Apostles spoke truth up to the point where people killed them for it — and they rejoiced in it. Sometimes you’ll have personal wins from truth, sometimes not, but if you stick to it and have a joyful attitude about it, you’ll influence more. Those twelve sure changed the world by having the mob attack them.

And that’s where the mindset shift really has to come in. Have fun with it. Enjoy the ride, because it’s going to happen regardless. No apologies will do anything, they don’t actually care about your words.

It’s a tough step, but when you get there, these mobs become nothing but little nuisances.

I’ve been fighting against these attacks for a couple years now. They haven’t stopped, they haven’t slowed down. But they’ve done nothing to me. They can’t even stop me from successfully producing my own books. This is my third fully-funded crowdfund, and with your help, I can create even more art. Back Flying Sparks Volume 2 today and enjoy a great comic from someone who takes on these ridiculous mobs all the time.

Share this post