All the critics agree, Argylle stinks. Rebecca Rubin harps about how even though it ranked number one this week, it didn’t make enough money, and it’s going to kill the two planned sequels. Allisa Wilson of the NYT says “A Cat Cannot Save It” and goes on to completely scourge the film. Johnny Oleksinski of the NY Post (normally a more right-wing outfit than the NYT) calls it a wipeout, Saying “Argylle is the latest example of a pretty irritating pattern from Director Mathew Vaughn. It’s worth noting here that he also hated ‘Kingsman: The Golden Circle’ and ‘The King’s Man.’ Rodger Egbert Review’s Robert Daniels gives it one and a half stars, and calls it “The stumbling, overcooked action flick”
Fortunately, I don’t listen to critics, unless I know them personally. Why don’t I listen to them? Because they’re idiots. They are the modern personification of the asshole from ‘Ratatouille.’ You remember him, this guy:
One “Anton Ego.” The most aptly named character EVER.
So stuck on his own self-importance, and the ‘gravitas of his position’ that he’s forgotten how to have fun or enjoy life. As Anton is buried in his self-importance on food, so too are most film critics buried in their self-importance about the film industry. After reading some of their reviews, I almost wonder if we saw the same movie. Is there a special version with all the fun sucked out of it, that they just show prerelease to the critics?
That said, there are enough plot twists, and gotcha moments in this flick to make the most die-hard Robert Ludlum fan happy. Furthermore, the writers didn’t cheat. Every single plot twist is given foreshadowing. You’re told the answer, but you don’t realize it, until afterward. This movie is also proof that you can have a ‘Diverse’ cast without being obnoxious about it, and without making it clear that you hate anyone who’s not a minority.
The big thing the critics missed on this film is that it’s supposed to be FUN. It’s over-the-top ridiculous, as all of Matthew Vaughn’s stuff is. The initial gunfight and the initial car chase make it clear that this is not a movie that takes itself seriously, and you shouldn’t either. Mr. Vaughn does all of his classic stuff, the slow-motion pieces during the fight scenes, the colored smoke and explosions, all the stuff that is his trademark.
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The basic setup is that Elly Conway, the author of the Argylle series of spy novels as played by Bryce Dallas Howard, discovers that she appears to be channeling the life of a real live spy, who has broken ties with a rather nasty multinational intelligence organization called The Division. She discovers this because The Division has figured it out too and is coming after her! High-tech violence and destruction ensue. Elly isn’t really prepared for this nonsense, after all, she’s just a single writer cat lady with a big Scottish fold cat that she brings with her everywhere! Or is she?
Henry Cavill plays the book version of Agent Argylle, with the aid of his two assistants Wyatt (John Cena) and Keira (Ariana DeBose.) The real-life spy that comes to her rescue is Aidan Wilde (Sam Rockwell) and the head of The Division, Director Ritter, a particularly ruthless individual, was a fantastic job by Bryan Cranston.
This was a FUN flick, I give it five bullets from a six-shooter. Stay for the end, there’s an easter egg.
Are you interested in Argylle? Are the Critics wrong? Let us know your thoughts in the comments!
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