It’s always obvious when a genre has outstayed it’s welcome. In 1969, Hello, Dolly! was launched into a world where the innocence of the high-production Broadway musical film was no longer welcome. The Sixth Day was arguably Arnold Schwarzenegger’s best 80s-style blast flick but no one was interested by 2000. So it is with Damsel. […]
Movie Reviews
The Dark Herald Recommends: Dune II
A positive review of Dune II directed by Denis Villeneuve follows. “Unadaptable” is the word that was most frequently used to describe Frank Herbert’s Dune and not without good reason. People who have had no trouble at all with Tolkien’s Silmarillion have struggled mightily to plow their way through Dune. Herbert stood the convention of […]
Dune Part 2 – Many Things to Many People A Review
A book as complex as Dune weighing in at 187,240 words, much like Tolkien’s Trilogy can’t be completely covered even in three movies. There’s just too much there. Then there’s the fact that the world when Herbert wrote Dune is very different than the world of today, and we have a very different experience with the Muslim […]
RE:View – The Extraordinary Adventures of Adele Blanc-Sec
A review of the 2010 film, The Extraordinary Adventures of Adele Blanc-Sec, directed by Luc Besson (The Fifth Element, 1997) America invented the comic book and gave it to the world. Which is a good thing because we kinda suck at it now. There isn’t a lot the traditional publishers can do about it at […]
The Dark Herald Does Not Recommend Madame Web
Madame Web is already controversial, with some of the worst ratings for any Marvel Comics film of all time, with only Morbius performing lower. The actresses are making last-ditch attempts to market the Sony film, with Dakota Johnston and Sydney Sweeny nearly getting naked for the premiere, but nothing is making fans go see this […]
Critics Scores Differ Wildly From Audience Scores On Argylle
All the critics agree, Argylle stinks. Rebecca Rubin harps about how even though it ranked number one this week, it didn’t make enough money, and it’s going to kill the two planned sequels. Allisa Wilson of the NYT says “A Cat Cannot Save It” and goes on to completely scourge the film. Johnny Oleksinski of […]
REVIEW: Wonka Starring Timothee Chalamet is the Rightful Heir to the Gene Wilder Throne
I was dubious about Wonka with Timothee Chalamet as a prequel film. The two worst things about twenty-first-century film production are lack of imagination, i.e., “Let’s do a sequel to something that we know sold, instead of producing something new.” and “Let’s make sure we cover all the minority buttons and go as woke as […]
The Dark Herald Does Not Recommend: Rebel Moon: Part One: A Child Of Fire
Zack Snyder has always been utterly dependent on his writers. There is no great shame to this. If you can accept your limits as a creative professional and admit your dependence on colaborers in other fields, it is possible to create something extraordinary. Snyder has done this on occasion. He got his start in the […]
The Dark Herald Recommends: The Great War of Archimedes
The Great War of Archimedes is of all things a drama about the building of the Yamato. I found the film intriguing because it’s an excellent example of the Japanese school of storytelling, following as it does the structure of Kishōtenketsu. The producers clearly spent a big chunk of their period piece money on the first scene. […]
The Dark Herald RE-View: The Muppet Christmas Carol
No story on Earth has been done to death as thoroughly as Charles Dicken’s A Christmas Carol. Every possible iteration of this classic story has been made. I tried to find out how many versions there were by typing “A Christmas Carol” into the IMDB search bar, and it called me an asshole. RELATED: “Wonka” Shocks At […]
REVIEW: Ridley Scott Mistitled His Napoleon Movie As It’s Another Bait-And-Switch With A Strong, Female Lead
Ridley Scott’s recent Napoleon movie not only missed the mark with its butchering of historical content, but the movie isn’t about Napoleon at all. He happens to play a part in the film, but Joaquin Phoenix isn’t truly the lead character. According to Sony Pictures, “Napoleon is a spectacle-filled action epic that details the checkered […]
Daily Wire’s ‘Lady Ballers’ Attempts to Turn Back the Clock and “Make Craziness Wholesome Again!”
Ostensibly in an attempt to combat the normalization of transsexualism, cross-dressing, and the absurdity of male-to-female trans athletes participating in competitive women’s sports, conservative media outlet The Daily Wire has released basketball sports comedy Lady Ballers with much fanfare. The plot revolves around a washed-up high school basketball coach who envisions a path to victory […]
